How do I help them?

How do you help your kids with something you, as an adult, can't understand?
How can you help them with something you never faced at their age?
HOW?

Growing up I had so much family around me. My MOM and DAD, the only dad I ever knew, got married when I was 2. I can never remember them being apart. MOM and DAD were always there. I do remember them taking 1 vacation, a cruise, without me. I stayed with my gram and gramps. Gram and gramps lived just a few doors down...My aunt lived around the block and another aunt lived on just the other side of the railroad tracks. I was surrounded by family...cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, MOM and DAD.

My boys have not grown up with the luxury of family....when our first son was born we lived overseas (my gramps died while I was pregnant with him). I did my best to travel home with him often but it just wasn't the same. When our second son was born, we lived in Alaska (my gram died while I was pregnant with him). We got to Alaska in December 2001. Before that my hubby hadn't had to travel too much. A trip here...a trip there but after 9-11-2001 EVERYTHING changed. We could never count on him being home. Trips lasted from 45-90 days and he'd be home a month if we were lucky and he'd be gone again....

A month before the youngest turned a year old, my mom got sick. She had breast cancer....the boys and I rushed to Arizona to be with her (leaving hubby alone in Alaska for 6 months). Leaving her after being with her for 6 months to come to Texas was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

It took my hubby years to learn the lay of the land here in TX. Probably because he's been gone more than he's been home since we moved here. This has by far been the hardest base on our family. I think my mom could see the toll it was taking on us and decided that MOM and DAD needed to move closer. Boy did that decision change our lives FOREVER. My parents beautiful home sat and sat and sat on the market...after 9 long months it sold. The week it sold, the doctor said the words that have become too familiar to our family 'we think it might be cancer.' So MOM and DAD moved to Texas that June. It was cancer...in his lungs. The boys and I rallied with MOM and DAD to get DAD well. The hubby was gone during most of this time. He was training for a new career field....DAD got better, then got much worse. The cancer spread to his brain and after 2 years of living here, he passed away. My boys learned the meaning of family and so much more while we cared for DAD.

Now I have just MOM...and too much of the time, my boys only have MOM.
Something HUGE is missing. The boys struggle in their own ways each time he leaves. The older they get, the harder it gets. Their issues become greater, their struggles greater, their questions greater....I'm working hard to make it as both MOM and DAD...and I'm working hard to soothe their hurts, answer their questions, and help them through their struggles.
We miss the DADs that are not with us. We long for the day that we will all be together again....


Psalm 91 NLT

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.
For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day.
Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.
Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished.

If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter,
no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home.
For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them.
I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”