Father's Day

UGH

Ok now that I've got that out of my system...Father's Day is very difficult once your earthly father has passed on. I was my dad's hospice caretaker for the 2 years that he was sick and in some regards I think that makes it even harder that he's gone. Mom and I took care of him round the clock, 24/7 with little help. Of course during this time my husband was gone...I mean like the whole time. He'd come home for short visits but that was it. Did I mention that I have 2 school age children? Yeah. My dad had lung cancer that spread to his brain so it wasn't always easy to deal with him. It did alter his moods and his thinking. I look back sometimes and think "I should have been nicer, more patient, more loving towards him." I try not to beat myself up but days like this bring those memories flooding back and I have to fight through it all over again...

Of course you all know my husband is deployed right now. So I would usually fill a day like this spoiling HIM rotten. Needless to say, my mind has been racing all day.

We did have a nice church service and then went to the State Park pool with some friends but it was just a strange day. I'm glad it's almost over....tomorrow will be a better day. The boys start golf camp tomorrow! My big guy has done this before (when he was in Kindergarten) but it's a first for my little one...I really hope he enjoys it. The big one is a huge soccer player but the little guy hasn't really found his "thing" yet....maybe this could be it!!!! I'll keep you posted.